So here I sit for the past 2 nights staying up way too late for my work schedule, thinking about a bunch of stuff..
I am thinking about the fact that I should probably start a new blog–one that would be more for bloggers eyes only where I wouldn’t have to worry about hurting close friends or family feelings–one where my stream of conscious could be let loose.
I am thinking about the fact that all you hear as a soon to be parent is the fact that your life will never be the same, things will be harder..nobody talks about the amazing things that will happen. They only ever talk about the negative things.
I am thinking about the fact that I have come to the realization that I will start having to defend the reason that we are choosing to parent certain ways or do things certain ways that we feel like are in the best interest of our child. In fact, I already have started having to do this.
I am thinking about the fact that I can’t wait for this child to come in to our lives, even with the sleepless nights, messy house, etc. I mean if it was that bad, people wouldn’t have more than one child.
I am thinking about the fact that I wish I could take the pregnancy from Machelle for even a couple of days, because sometimes she looks like she feels so uncomfortable. She doesn’t complain (a lot) but I can tell this is taking quite the toll on her body..and I wish there was something more than a massage or foot rub that I could do.
I am worried. I am worried about so many things, but so often this worry that is all encompassing one minute is replaced with sheer joy and excitement the next.
I am happy. I am happy that even though we heard a statistic yesterday that 80% of lesbian couples who have children, end up not being together😳 we have made a commitment to make our relationship work, even through the hard stuff.
More to come soon–or maybe just another blog.